Not every mistake needs a correction.
Some folks take a little too much joy in proving others wrong. Sure, it can feel sabtisfying - especially when you’re right. And yes, sometimes stepping in is the responsible thing to do.
But if you’re constantly scanning for flaws and calling them out, you’re not being helpful - you’re just being exhausting. People remember how you made them feel far more than whether you were technically right.
Give others the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they missed something. Maybe they’re just having a rough day. If it’s not mission-critical, let it go. Kindness doesn’t mean staying silent - it means being intentional about how you speak.
- If someone misses a small detail in a PR, nudge gently
- If someone shares an idea that’s slightly off, don’t tear it down
- If someone gets something wrong, help them understand without making a scene
- If you’re in a group setting, choose private correction over public shaming - always
When this nitpicking behavior becomes normalized, it starts shaping team culture - and not in a good way. In some orgs, it’s even unintentionally incentivized.
People start optimizing for not being wrong, instead of moving fast and learning. Everyone gets a little more defensive, a little more hesitant. Progress slows down - not because people aren’t smart, but because they’re too busy being careful.
Engineering is not a zero-sum game. You don’t win by pulling others down. You build influence by being the person others want to work with.
Be kind. You’re not here to win arguments - you’re here to build.