“How can you not know this?” … is the worst thing you can say
Junior engineers or those slightly unfamiliar with the domain may have relatively trivial doubts, and when they pose such questions, it is essential to address them with humility.
This also occurs during presentations and meetings, where some individuals are quick to interrupt and point out gaps in understanding. In most cases, this is done for desperate participation, visibility, and to earn some leadership brownie points.
Whether you are a senior engineer or not, it does not matter. It is important to be respectful, humble, and polite. Not knowing something does not mean not having the ability to understand. It is important to acknowledge that everyone has taken a unique path to reach where they are.
Humility is the ability to acknowledge your expertise while recognizing the potential for growth in every interaction. And that, in my experience, is the hallmark of a truly exceptional engineer.
Choice of words matters, and humility matters. Because nobody wants to work with a genius jerk.